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Post by Chemical_Insanity on Aug 29, 2013 1:47:17 GMT
HELLO MY LOVELY MINIONS--
I mean, friends. Here is the critique thread I was telling you all about.
Also you could make an account it's not mandatory, but it'd make things easier
-Chemi
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Post by Chemical_Insanity on Aug 29, 2013 2:26:54 GMT
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Post by Chemical_Insanity on Aug 29, 2013 2:51:23 GMT
Tryng out the reply button If you hit "quote" above someone's post and to the right, it's also very effective hehe
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Post by Chemical_Insanity on Aug 29, 2013 2:56:13 GMT
If you hit "quote" above someone's post and to the right, it's also very effective hehe Quote, huh? Lol yup
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Post by Chemical_Insanity on Aug 29, 2013 2:56:39 GMT
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firekite
New Member
Usualy I'm nice. Here I am gonna be pure, unadulturated fire, muhahaha. Prepare to be burned
Posts: 8
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Post by firekite on Aug 29, 2013 2:59:44 GMT
Lol, ary's 15 but has the mental and sexual maturity of (the writer as well) of a nine year old. This sounds to me already like a horny porn story. Below, a fan says "Girl, you are amazing and there are gonna be people in worster" I stopped right there. Even the fans can't spell.
Now. Have a look at my profile pic on the side here. See it? I hope this happens to their fingers for typing this story.
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Post by Chemical_Insanity on Aug 29, 2013 3:02:36 GMT
Lol, ary's 15 but has the mental and sexual maturity of (the writer as well) of a nine year old. This sounds to me already like a horny porn story. Below, a fan says "Girl, you are amazing and there are gonna be people in worster" I stopped right there. Even the fans can't spell. Best. Review. Ever.
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Post by nerdygirlrae on Aug 29, 2013 3:04:35 GMT
Holy crap, that story's still up? I thought wattpad would've taken it down by now.
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Post by rigor_samsa on Aug 29, 2013 3:05:48 GMT
Holy crap, that story's still up? I thought wattpad would've taken it down by now. unfortunately :/
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Post by youobviouslyliveonce on Aug 29, 2013 3:11:31 GMT
I am here to review the one of the worst 1D wattpad sensation stories to have ever graced wattpad. First of all, let me start off by critiquing the title. Who the hell writes a story title with lower case letters? No one, that's who. This should be your first warning to not read this story.
Anyway, I shall only critique the first chapter because if I do the rest I'll be typing all night and I need my sleep.
Ahem!
Our author showcases a severe lack of knowledge of the basic English language and grammar. There are no appropriate punctuation where they are needed and her spelling ...it might as well be a different language. The POV changes every few sentences. In all my years of reading I have never ever come across anything like it. This story is one of a kind, that being the worst of its kind. It has run on sentences for years, and the author USES CAPS LOCK LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME. Now that is just senseless. I do not get the point of doing it, nor do I get the point of the story. It's just pure nastiness. (Sorry for the harshness, but that's just me) It's solely a rape/fantasy story that a young girl wrote to get herself off as well as hundreds of other girls too. The dialogue is laughably unrealistic. E.g "Harry don't hurt her now you have to wait to hurt her in bed". Have you ever heard such shit? A real rapist would laugh at this.
I cannot believe that thousands of girls on wattpad read and love this story. What is happening to our world?
Overall assessment. English/Grammar - 1/5 Plot - 1/5 Characters - 0/5 Settings - 0/5 Creativity - 1/5
In other words, this story is an epic fail. If you want a good read please avoid clicking this story. If you want a good laugh...click the damn link.
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firekite
New Member
Usualy I'm nice. Here I am gonna be pure, unadulturated fire, muhahaha. Prepare to be burned
Posts: 8
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Post by firekite on Aug 29, 2013 3:11:43 GMT
Hahaha! I hope you guys thoroughly enjoyed not only my review, but my sadistic finger picture I chose to go with my terrible, inhumane reviews, hehehe *steeples finers and tilts eyebrow*
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Post by Chemical_Insanity on Aug 29, 2013 3:15:03 GMT
I am here to review the one of the worst 1D wattpad sensation stories to have ever graced wattpad. First of all, let me start off by critiquing the title. Who the hell writes a story title with lower case letters? No one, that's who. This should be your first warning to not read this story. Anyway, I shall only critique the first chapter because if I do the rest I'll be typing all night and I need my sleep. Ahem! Our author showcases a severe lack of knowledge of the basic English language and grammar. There are no appropriate punctuation where they are needed and her spelling ...it might as well be a different language. The POV changes every few sentences. In all my years of reading I have never ever come across anything like it. This story is one of a kind. It's one of the worst kinds. It has run on sentences and the author USES CAPS LOCK LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME. Now that is just senseless. I do not get the point of the story. It's just pure nastiness. It's solely a rape/fantasy story that a young girl wrote to get herself off as well as hundreds of other girls too. The dialogue is laughably unrealistic. E.g "Harry don't hurt her now you have to wait to hurt her in bed". Have you ever heard such shit? A real rapist would laugh at this. I cannot believe that thousands of girls on wattpad read and love this story. What is happening to our world? Overall assessment. English/Grammar - 1/5 Plot - 1/5 Characters - 0/5 Settings - 0/5 Creativity - 1/5 In other words, this story is an epic fail. If you want a good read please avoid clicking this story. If you want a good laugh...click the damn link. *claps*
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Post by youobviouslyliveonce on Aug 29, 2013 3:18:21 GMT
I am here to review the one of the worst 1D wattpad sensation stories to have ever graced wattpad. First of all, let me start off by critiquing the title. Who the hell writes a story title with lower case letters? No one, that's who. This should be your first warning to not read this story. Anyway, I shall only critique the first chapter because if I do the rest I'll be typing all night and I need my sleep. Ahem! Our author showcases a severe lack of knowledge of the basic English language and grammar. There are no appropriate punctuation where they are needed and her spelling ...it might as well be a different language. The POV changes every few sentences. In all my years of reading I have never ever come across anything like it. This story is one of a kind. It's one of the worst kinds. It has run on sentences and the author USES CAPS LOCK LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME. Now that is just senseless. I do not get the point of the story. It's just pure nastiness. It's solely a rape/fantasy story that a young girl wrote to get herself off as well as hundreds of other girls too. The dialogue is laughably unrealistic. E.g "Harry don't hurt her now you have to wait to hurt her in bed". Have you ever heard such shit? A real rapist would laugh at this. I cannot believe that thousands of girls on wattpad read and love this story. What is happening to our world? Overall assessment. English/Grammar - 1/5 Plot - 1/5 Characters - 0/5 Settings - 0/5 Creativity - 1/5 In other words, this story is an epic fail. If you want a good read please avoid clicking this story. If you want a good laugh...click the damn link. *claps* *Bows*
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Post by nerdygirlrae on Aug 29, 2013 3:22:46 GMT
I am here to review the one of the worst 1D wattpad sensation stories to have ever graced wattpad. First of all, let me start off by critiquing the title. Who the hell writes a story title with lower case letters? No one, that's who. This should be your first warning to not read this story. Anyway, I shall only critique the first chapter because if I do the rest I'll be typing all night and I need my sleep. Ahem! Our author showcases a severe lack of knowledge of the basic English language and grammar. There are no appropriate punctuation where they are needed and her spelling ...it might as well be a different language. The POV changes every few sentences. In all my years of reading I have never ever come across anything like it. This story is one of a kind, that being the worst of its kind. It has run on sentences for years, and the author USES CAPS LOCK LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME. Now that is just senseless. I do not get the point of doing it, nor do I get the point of the story. It's just pure nastiness. (Sorry for the harshness, but that's just me) It's solely a rape/fantasy story that a young girl wrote to get herself off as well as hundreds of other girls too. The dialogue is laughably unrealistic. E.g "Harry don't hurt her now you have to wait to hurt her in bed". Have you ever heard such shit? A real rapist would laugh at this. I cannot believe that thousands of girls on wattpad read and love this story. What is happening to our world? Overall assessment. English/Grammar - 1/5 Plot - 1/5 Characters - 0/5 Settings - 0/5 Creativity - 1/5 In other words, this story is an epic fail. If you want a good read please avoid clicking this story. If you want a good laugh...click the damn link. *le gasp* you stole my critique structure form!! D: Kidding. Anyways, I think that putting 1/5 in creativity is pretty nice; the thing is, there was no creativity in this whatsoever. It was a girl who read a story of a story of a story of a story (ect...) and wanted to imagine herself having sex with 1D, but since actually getting into a relationship is difficult, she forced one in order to bypass the whole "why would they care about 1 out of a kajillion fans?" Lazy, sloppy writing all in all.
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firekite
New Member
Usualy I'm nice. Here I am gonna be pure, unadulturated fire, muhahaha. Prepare to be burned
Posts: 8
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Post by firekite on Aug 29, 2013 3:35:36 GMT
Hahaha! Good one
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Post by youobviouslyliveonce on Aug 29, 2013 3:50:35 GMT
I am here to review the one of the worst 1D wattpad sensation stories to have ever graced wattpad. First of all, let me start off by critiquing the title. Who the hell writes a story title with lower case letters? No one, that's who. This should be your first warning to not read this story. Anyway, I shall only critique the first chapter because if I do the rest I'll be typing all night and I need my sleep. Ahem! Our author showcases a severe lack of knowledge of the basic English language and grammar. There are no appropriate punctuation where they are needed and her spelling ...it might as well be a different language. The POV changes every few sentences. In all my years of reading I have never ever come across anything like it. This story is one of a kind, that being the worst of its kind. It has run on sentences for years, and the author USES CAPS LOCK LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME. Now that is just senseless. I do not get the point of doing it, nor do I get the point of the story. It's just pure nastiness. (Sorry for the harshness, but that's just me) It's solely a rape/fantasy story that a young girl wrote to get herself off as well as hundreds of other girls too. The dialogue is laughably unrealistic. E.g "Harry don't hurt her now you have to wait to hurt her in bed". Have you ever heard such shit? A real rapist would laugh at this. I cannot believe that thousands of girls on wattpad read and love this story. What is happening to our world? Overall assessment. English/Grammar - 1/5 Plot - 1/5 Characters - 0/5 Settings - 0/5 Creativity - 1/5 In other words, this story is an epic fail. If you want a good read please avoid clicking this story. If you want a good laugh...click the damn link. *le gasp* you stole my critique structure form!! D: Kidding. Anyways, I think that putting 1/5 in creativity is pretty nice; the thing is, there was no creativity in this whatsoever. It was a girl who read a story of a story of a story of a story (ect...) and wanted to imagine herself having sex with 1D, but since actually getting into a relationship is difficult, she forced one in order to bypass the whole "why would they care about 1 out of a kajillion fans?" Lazy, sloppy writing all in all. Lol I figured it took some sort of creativity to think up a story like that. I know I can't. And I agree. Sloppy writing all in all.
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Post by nerdygirlrae on Aug 29, 2013 15:43:52 GMT
Lol, ary's 15 but has the mental and sexual maturity of (the writer as well) of a nine year old. This sounds to me already like a horny porn story. Below, a fan says "Girl, you are amazing and there are gonna be people in worster" I stopped right there. Even the fans can't spell. I don't know about the sexual maturity of a 9 year old -definitely the mental maturity. To me, it plays out as if this whole thing is planned. Everyone derives pleasure from different sexual fantasies (some people get it on when their in furry suits), but point is, this is like the rape-fantasies sometimes role played out by couples. A 9 year old is definitely not sexually mature (something, I'm sure, you were getting at), but Ary treats it like being sold as a sex slave is all part of some planned out sexual fantasy. Sure, they humiliate her and she "hates" it, but that's just part of the role playing process. There is no depth to her character. It's just one sexual fantasy played out for days and weeks. She doesn't evolve, she doesn't learn, she doesn't think. Where are the nightmare? The PTSD? The fear? This is just a story written by a girl who wanted to see herself having sex with 1D. Simple as that.
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